Weekly Inspiration: Flaws, Good Enough, and Vulnerability

• Owning our flaws One of my dogs, Manny, has a neurological condition that greatly impact his life. To me, he is perfect; I knew it from the moment I saw his picture on the rescue’s website. My husband and I were initially overwhelmed by meeting his needs, but within a couple months, he became part of our family and meeting his needs was simply woven into our lives. We’ve recently been searching for a dog sitter to help us as life transitions back to in-person, and while contacting and meeting potential sitters, I’ve been amazed at how many think his needs are too great, are fearful of him, and talk about him only in terms of his weaknesses. While I can see how his condition may be overwhelming to some people, I wouldn’t change a thing about him. I love how he is just how he is. He doesn’t compare himself to his brother and sister or other dogs in the neighborhood, he doesn’t try to act differently when company visits, and he doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t. He is unapologetically himself, and I love him for owning his flaws, for his purity, and for showing up just as he is without hesitation or uncertainty. I aspire to live just like Manny: wholeheartedly.
• Good enough I’ve really been working to shift my metric for evaluating how I show up in 2021 because perfectionism is exhausting and fake and never leaves me feeling connected or valued as I hope it will. I’ve been reflecting at the end of the day on how present and intentional I’ve been instead of how many things I’ve crossed off of my to-do list. I’ve found these two concepts to be key elements to meaningful living for me. And even though I still get pulled back into perfectionism sometimes, it’s so grounding to recenter at the end of the day and evaluate what’s truly important to me: presence and intentionality, which are two wonderfully delectable meaningful bits of life. In the past week, I had a validating experience around being good enough. I have shown up to something that used to be overwhelmingly new to me for a year and a half, feeling as if I was stumbling my way through while trying to be a guiding light, like I didn’t have all the resources I needed. In the end, however, I was good enough just as I was without any advanced resources, without always knowing the “right” thing to say or do, and without years of experience. When I reflected on how this could be possible, I came back to presence and intention. My capacity to be present and my intention to show up wholeheartedly made all the difference. Being good enough made all the difference.
• Leaning in to vulnerability Brene Brown has been a role model for me from her first TED talk, and I discovered recently that I could listen to the audiobook version of Daring Greatly read by Brene herself. Listening has been like standing in a rainstorm without an umbrella or raincoat, but with the warmth of a loving and accepting friend. It’s been uncomfortable to sit with the ways I have failed to show up here in my blog, yet soothing to know that it’s okay and I’m not the only person who struggles with vulnerability. I’ve really struggled to show up here, worrying about all of my flaws, that I’m not enough (and never will be), and that there is no value to what I have to share. I have stayed exhaustingly busy just so I don’t have the physical energy to write or the emotional energy to be brave enough to publish my work. I know that I have deep wounds around vulnerability that I work to heal bit by bit and that the intention of my blog is a practice of showing up for myself, which is inherently a practice of vulnerability. I can now point out to myself that it’s not the failures or the successes that make this practice of vulnerability meaningful, but more so committing to show up and be vulnerable regardless of the outcome. Vulnerability is the way we connect and grow, and when I’m trying to play the perfectionist game, it keeps me out of the arena of authenticity, creativity, true connection and growth. I hope you’ll join me in the arena, and I’ll leave you with one of the many thought-provoking and inspirational quotes from Brene’s book that had an impact on me:

Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.

-Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

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