Weekly Inspiration: Intuition, Jealousy & Hiding

• Intuition Over the past few months, I’ve learned how to tune into my intuition, and I’ve especially been tracking that this month. I kept getting a sense over and over again in the past few weeks to check on something that I’ve been waiting for, something that has felt out of reach for awhile. It was something I had been putting off checking on because it’s so hard to hear no multiple times in a row after lots of intentional work and focus. For 2 weeks, I kept coming back to follow up with my intuition on this topic and each time, I was reassured that it was time to check in and move forward. It was so validating when I did check and found out that my intuition was indeed correct. I have passed a milestone I’ve been working towards with my health for awhile, and I was really impressed that a deeper part of me knew that before I had any hard evidence.
• Jealousy Something I’ve been sitting with lately as life starts to shift out of the pandemic is jealousy. I’ve learned that sometimes jealousy can show us what we’re missing in our life and need to move towards. For me, I am able to tolerate jealousy when I have that perspective as it’s more empowering than sitting with what I lack and comparing myself to someone else’s circumstances. Thinking of jealousy like that helps me get grounded and move forward. I’ve recently encountered jealousy that I haven’t been able to find empowerment around, however. It’s something I feel is entirely out of my control. I’ve found that it is impacting my ability to show up because I am feeling “less than” and getting wrapped up in the story I’m telling myself. I’ve noticed though, that each time I show up anyway, I’m able to gather evidence to the contrary and reinforce that I AM good enough even though I will never have what I pine for. I am learning to sit with this version of jealousy through the process of showing up, but it’s certainly easier to sit with when it’s not attached to my self-worth and value like it is right now.
• Hiding Recently, I gathered up the courage to post about my blog in the Facebook group of the blog training course I used to get things rolling here. I felt good about having a structure, posting regularly, and getting positive feedback from some of my dearest friends. It was received well in the Facebook group, and then the creator of the course featured me in her inspiration section in her weekly newsletter. More people were checking out my blog, and my response… was to disappear. I hid. I stopped posting. I pressed pause on all action for my blog. Hiding has always been my top defensive strategy, but never have I come face to face with it in this way before than with blogging. In college as an aspiring musician, I hid by diving head first into my work and I worked so hard that it was impossible to not be seen. Clearly, that is not my current tactic with my blog, but I have definitely been hiding and I’m working hard to keep showing up anyway.

Here’s to learning to listen to your intuition and trust it wholeheartedly, sitting with big feelings even when you feel less than, and continuing to show up for yourself no matter how scary and uncomfortable that is.

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