Weekly Inspiration: Dog Mothering, Being Seen & Showing Up

• Dog mothering The sweet pup you see pictured above is my six year old girl, Parker. This little girl changed my life. I have always loved dogs and having them as a child was a godsend. Top of my list after securing my first adult job was to get a dog. I waited and waited and waited, and then what seemed to be the most unlikely moment was when this little girl walked into my life. She was left in a box on the side of the road as a 3 month old puppy and I knew before I saw her that we were meant to be. She has taught me about courage, compassion, presence, meaning, and most importantly, how to be a dog mom. Parker was spayed too early- I didn’t know better at the time- and that means that she sometimes experiences incontinence at night. When she was younger, I would get so mad at her for peeing the bed, approaching it as if it was intentional and malicious. I have since learned how damaging that perspective has been, causing undue pain and shame to my girl. She peed the bed this week, through no fault of her own, and instead of waking me up, she laid in it for hours and tried to hide it. I could tell that she felt shame, trying to hide her body’s need. I stayed calm, got her outside to empty her bladder, and then gently cleaned her fur where the urine has soaked through. I dried her off and got her back in the bed. I could tell she was just waiting for me to be mad, even though it’s been years since I’ve gotten mad at her for peeing in the bed. I held her as tight as I could, assured her that she’s a good girl and that her body was taking care of her. While I’m so glad that I’m able to work towards making repairs and rewiring her brain to know this new response from me, my heart just ached at how much pain and shame I have caused my little girl. I was inspired not only by the capacity for repair, but even more so by the aching of my heart to remind me of the hurt I caused, because I never want to sow seeds of shame and hurt like that again.
• Being seen This week, I mustered up enough courage to share my blog with three close friends. I had been terrified to tell them for months that I have been working on a blog, that I have this project and interest. I was afraid they’d think it’s weird or silly, but maybe even more, I was afraid that it wouldn’t have an impact. When I dig deeper into my fear as a whole, at least part of the core of it is that I don’t/won’t/can’t matter and have impact on the others and the world around me. And, gosh, it really puts me in a bind, because part of me wants to hide so I don’t have a negative impact while another part of me is afraid of not being seen. It was life-giving to hear supportive responses from my dear friends, to show up authentically and be seen and honored. I’m so thankful to be able to have that experience to add to my rewiring around showing up and being acknowledged. What a gift to know in this world that you matter.
• “Show up in every single moment like you’re meant to be there.” – Marie Forleo I’ve been reading Marie‘s book, Everything is Figureoutable and absolutely enamored by her work. I want to soak up every possible resource I can from what she has created, and this quote in particular sticks out to me. What a shift to take in, especially for me. I’ve spent the majority of my life showing up in the background with an apology for being there readily available if questioned. I’ve been diligently working on how I show up for many years now, and this certainly takes it a step further. Dropping the apology part was great, but what doors would open if I could stop hiding in the background and really, truly, show up authentically in as many moments as possible?

Wishing you space for you to be able to reflect on your impact, both positive and negative, and the courage to sit with the pain you have caused so you can grow from it, along with plenty of opportunities to show up authentically and be seen just as as you are this week.

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