Cultivating Vitality

A professor I respected from undergrad recently passed away unexpectedly. It was a shock for his family, alumni, students, faculty, and the community as a whole. I went to a small liberal arts school and spent the majority of my time in the department I was majoring in, so my professors and peers felt like family. It’s easy to celebrate graduations, new jobs, retirements, new paths because we can always reconnect, but in death, that connection is permanently altered.

It hit me hard when I least expected it after reflecting on all of the heartfelt memories shared about him by other former students on social media. Part of what hurt my heart most is that I can access so few memories from undergrad at this point in my life. I can’t remember rehearsals or recitals with this professor. I can’t remember entire courses or performances or even departmental social events with this professor. I spent a whole afternoon going back through papers, programs, and photos to try to remember, but my life at that point was governed by anxiety- often overwhelming anxiety- so my resources went to survival instead of thriving and enjoying life. I do remember that professors would ask I was in the hallway as I passed them, and I’d always say, “Surviving.” It was my instinctual response and I had no idea how accurate it was at the time.

While I can’t access many memories with this professor, I can remember the general energy he brought to the department. He was the epitome of thriving. When I reflect on his legacy, the word vitality comes to mind. He had so much enthusiasm for life; he was certainly not a person filled with dread or who functioned out of obligation. He found beauty and meaning in the small things because he paused to acknowledge them and care for them- he really embodied the tenants of my blog. Work was joyful for him, and he was passionate about his art. He valued relationships- even when he left the department and moved on to an administrative role, he attended as many events on campus as humanly possible. The number of people he helped, supported, and inspired is immeasurable.

When I think of vitality, I think of energy, aliveness, presence, zest. All of these words describe my dear professor, and I intend to fill the hole in my heart from his death by cultivating vibrancy and vitality in his honor. I have been on this journey for a long time, but his death presented me with a renewed devotion to embodying vitality as a reverent dedication to his impact on my life.

The roots of vitality

I really love knowing people’s stories and strive to treat them with the tenderness and admiration they are rightfully entitled to. I wish I knew more about my professor’s life story and his understanding of how he developed vitality, but I don’t need to in order to know that he was in alignment with himself. He chose to live a life that fit him, pursuing what brought joy and meaning to his life and releasing all that did not serve him. For me, this is the root of vitality: living life out of your intuition, following the call of your soul, and showing up in life in the way only you can.

Ultimately, I think the root of vitality is choice. We can choose vitality by how we choose to respond to the wisdom inside of us and how we choose to move through the world. While this is theoretically simple, it might be far more complex to put into practice. First off, we need to create space to listen to what’s inside of us, and that might be a change for how you move through the world right now. Change is something we resist as humans because it’s uncomfortable, and uncomfortable equals vulnerable. But vulnerability also moves us forward and allows us to connect, grow, and go deeper.

There may also be some very real roadblocks to living with vitality, like depression or anxiety, that might need your focus and compassion before you’re able to make a shift, and that’s okay. It’s always okay to seek support and help. Choose to welcome your humanness with open arms and accept vulnerability. Lean into that vulnerability and you just might be surprised by what you learn about yourself and your relationships.

Cultivating vitality in your life

How, then, might one go about cultivating vitality in their life? Like most things, I think the answer lies in the intention and process.

Intention

Setting an intention to live with vitality can certainly have an impact. It makes me think of the quote, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Sometimes it’s not about making big tangible changes in our life- dare I say it’s so often not, in fact- but it’s shifting the little things that can help us see the world differently. Instead of quitting your job and finding a new one, start by shifting your perspective of your job with a clear intention, especially if you’re not sure that you want to quit.

I did something similar recently where I changed the metric for how I evaluate myself being “good enough”. Instead of worrying so much about if people like what I’ve said or how I did something, I’m looking at how present, authentic, and open I am. It’s made a huge difference in reducing rumination and anxiety for me, all because I changed my intention from being “good enough” to being more attuned to myself.

Process

In terms of the process, like most things, vitality is a way to move through life instead of a destination in life. There are several opportunities everyday for us to choose vitality in the moment. Maybe it starts by asking yourself once a day, “What would energize me today?” or “What would fill my cup today?” and making space to do that one thing, even if just for a moment. All of those moments adds up over time, just like in our relationships where all of our interactions add up over time to form the connect between two people.

Often, we find that we can make even more space for the things that best fits us as we fall in love with feeling different. It’s like people who start working out and then become fitness trainers, or how Julia Child took cooking lessons in France and eventually became a cooking teacher in America. Most of the time, we don’t wake up one day and have our life shift drastically. Creating the life we want comes from many intentional moments, day after day, week after week, month after month.

With that, I’ll leave you with a quote to help you start on your journey towards vitality:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

― Howard Thurman

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